5 Words You Must Use in Your Fundraising Letter to Raise More Money

April 30, 2012 Gary Henricksen

Five Words to Use in Your Donation Request Letter

They are simple words, but it’s so easy to write a donation request letter and not use them. Our schools and employers teach us to write impersonally, formally, pompously. So, go back through your letter draft and check for these five words: It’s an easy way to improve your donation request letter, thank you note or donor update.

1. The donor’s first name.

No word in the English language is more important than our own name. No word has the power to capture our attention quite like our own name. It is a power word used by the most important people in your life: your mother, your spouse, your children, your friends, your boss. Use the prospect’s name three times in an appeal letter. Here are the best places to use it.

in the address heading
in the salutation
in a thank you sentence
in the ask sentence
in the P.S.

2. You.

Fundraising letters are about what the donor wants, not about what you want. Donors want to do something about problems they care about. They want their contribution to be recognized. Instead of generalizing, i.e. “Our generous donors helped,” personalize: “You helped”; “You can make a difference”; “Your assistance made it possible.”

3. I.

Employers have trained us to use “we” not “I” in organizational communications. But non-profit fundraising is very personal. It’s a commonplace among fundraisers that “people give to people”. So do use “I” not “we” when writing donation request letters, thank you letters and donor impact reports. Don’t say “We hope...,” but rather “I ask you to give….”; “I’d like to let you know how your money has been put to work”; “I’d like to like to tell you how much your donation has accomplished.”

4. Thank you.

I know, I know—thank you are two words, but for our purposes here, I’m counting them as one. Donors want to know that they accomplished something and that you appreciate them!

5. Give.

“Please give $100 today.” Or, “I hope you will continue your support by sending a gift of $100 today.” Use “donate,” “make a donation,” “make a gift,” etc. You get the point! (Never use the word “support” as a substitute for the more specific “give” or “donate.”)

Using these five words will go a long way to in making your donation letter asking for donations sound more personal and less like organization speak, both for current and potential donors. A personal letter touches the our emotions. An organizational letter speaks to the intellect. It’s the intellect’s job to say no. It’s the emotions’ job to say yes.

Here’s a sentence that uses all five words:

Put these words to work for you. Remember, if one or two more people out of 100 respond, that’s a lot of help over the long run. So, details count!

P.S. Did I mention that I’m a big fan of the Y?

Read these other Five Maples articles on how to write a fundraising appeals

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